leanakin: (stupid goat)
[personal profile] leanakin
It starts like this: Make decision to go outside.

It's not just something you decide to do and then do, it's a process when theres 2-year-olds involved.

These are the steps.
Need sunscreen. Also a bra. Grab sunscreen on way to get bra. Change mind about bra and put on shorts and bikini top instead.

Head to get babies, who are downstairs. Get coffee in paper cup along way. Someone pooped, so grab diaper and the wipes and change baby downstairs. Easier than dragging everyone upstairs. Get halfway up split staircase and realize have left coffee downstairs and the sunscreen upstairs at opposite end of house. Get both, pausing only to blow noise for the fifteenth time that morning. Bess u, says my child. Thank you, child.

Now we are almost ready. Need flipflops and sunscreen. Go outside to discover the other baby has pooped. Cat has also escaped. Get cat back inside, babies also. Instruct baby #1 to stay put while you change sisters diaper.

Go upstairs to changing table, begin removing poop diaper and suddenly realize wipes are downstairs. This is mushy shit too, and be not in the mood to bathe poopy baby if she touches it. Say, stay here and dont move! , then dash into kitchen for wet paper towels.

go back outside. Tell cat to keep his ass inside. Begin putting on shoes and sunscreen. Need to blow nose again. Do sunscreen first. Grab tissues from kitchen. sit outside while babies play with water and douse you occasionally (ie 100 times per 15 minute interval).

Yay, thats going outside or my name aint Mommy.
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leanakin

August 2016

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